Finding love in 2019
Are you new to online dating? Or returning after a break? Then buckle up – things are about to get busy! Dating websites get their biggest number of new subscribers at the start of the year – Christian Connection reports that the number of new members doubles between December and January, there are 60% more logins, and more than double the number of messages sent. That means you’ve picked a great time to give online dating a try. To get the most from it, here are six new year’s resolutions to boost your chances of finding love in 2019…
1. ‘I’ll put the effort into creating a knockout profile’
Your online dating profile is like your shop window or advert, helping other members decide whether to get in touch with you, so it’s worth taking the time to write the best one you can. Profiles that attract interest tend to be concise, lively and positive, and give a flavour of who you are as a unique individual, so include something about your special interests, how you love to spend your time, and your priorities in life. Keep pictures clear, simple and smiley. Choose images in which you look your best, but don’t overdo it – heavy make-up, soft focus or overly-posed pictures can be off-putting. Photos that are several years out of date are considered misleading and aren’t viewed kindly!
2. ‘I’ll be bold and proactive about starting conversations’
If you’re new to online dating and you’re a bit nervous – which is completely natural – it’s tempting to sit tight and passively wait for people to approach you (us ladies are especially guilty of this). But remember, everyone’s in the same boat. You’ll get better results and meet more people if you reach out with messages and waves, start conversations and get active on the discussion boards. The more you put in, the more you get out. Don’t miss the opportunity to meet that great person because you don’t have the courage to say ‘Hi’ – just dive in and get involved!
3. ‘I’ll keep an open mind about who I might meet’
It’s good to have an idea of the kind of person you’re looking for and to know your deal breakers. However, outside of that, it pays to give anyone with any potential a chance, as you might be surprised who you click with. Many people are happily married to someone who wasn’t their ‘type’ – or so they thought! – and who they might have dismissed on a dating website. In fact, if your type hasn’t worked out up until now, maybe it’s time to try something different! A wise person is open to finding that spark where they least expect it.
4. ‘If I click with someone, I’ll meet up with them quickly’
Research shows that in most successful relationships that start online, the couple met within two weeks of initial contact. That’s right: two weeks! That might seem fast, but a lengthy online or phone relationship can build up pressure and expectation, making it awkward when you finally meet. It’s also easy to create a false image of someone in your mind, only to be disappointed when you meet in person – and frustrated that you’ve wasted so much of each other’s time. Meeting up quickly (if possible) means you can discover if there’s any attraction, plus there’s less time to build up those nerves. (But however long you’ve been chatting to someone, you should always follow safety precautions.)
5. ‘I’ll be kind and courteous to everyone online’
Dating websites can come as something of a shock to the system! In real life, someone is unlikely to ignore you or rudely reject you to your face, but the same doesn’t always apply online – even, sadly, on a Christian website. Try to remember that rejection isn’t personal (how can it be if they don’t know you?), and rudeness says more about them than about you. Lead by example by treating people as you’d like to be treated – reply to messages, even if it’s to say, ‘Thank you but I don’t feel we have potential’; be polite and courteous (unless someone is being demanding or inappropriate); and if you need to reject someone, do it firmly but kindly.
6. ‘I’ll stay positive and motivated, and trust God for the outcome’
While some online daters meet their perfect partner quickly, for most of us, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. You might have to kiss (or at least have a coffee with) a lot of frogs to find your prince (or princess). So try not to become discouraged. Stay positive and motivated, and try to have fun (although it’s okay to take a break if you become fatigued or jaded). Take it to God in prayer, and trust that the right person for you is out there. And remember that every person you meet is one step closer to finding your true love!