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Don’t let go too soon

So I went home feeling let down by God. I had expected to be blown away and I wasn’t. I had expected to ‘just know’, but I didn’t. Our date was pleasant enough, and I thought his nervousness was kind of endearing but…no. I wanted fireworks. I wanted butterflies in my stomach. I wanted some sort of sign from Heaven (maybe a dove landing on his head and a voice saying ‘this is the one, marry him!’)

Pleasant wasn’t doing it for me. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of peace I had about him. I couldn’t ignore the voice in my spirit telling me to give him a chance. I couldn’t ignore all the books I’d read on marriage and relationships that seemed to suggest that you wouldn’t always ‘just know’ and would have to take a step of faith. I couldn’t ignore the fact that experience had taught me that most times our plans are very different from God’s, because His ways are very different from ours.

So, I decided to give him a chance and get to know him.

Soon, I began to see another picture. I began to understand why such a person would be perfect for me. I began to understand why I would be perfect for him. I began to see that actually, our differences really complemented each other.

I was blown away.

A lot of single people are waiting for that perfect person. Some are misguided into believing that you can know when you meet ‘the one’; your soul mate, that person God has created especially for you. But in my experience and that of many I know, it doesn’t happen quite like that.

God cares about who you marry, that’s for sure. He wants your marriage to be one that glorifies Him and brings you joy. However, God also wants us to be discerning. He wants us to look beyond our ‘top ten list of what I want in a husband (or wife)’ and maybe ask Him what He wants for us. He wants us to look beyond the physical and look inwards. What a person looks like inside is way more important than their physical appearance, or how much money they have, or what they do for a living.

Don’t get me wrong; it is important to know what’s important to you, and where there’s no negotiation. But perhaps we also need to remember that the measure with which we judge people is the same measure with which we will be judged. So before you write someone off because they don’t meet your requirements, ask yourself, ‘Am I judging correctly?’

What do you think? Have you let go of a possible relationship because they didn’t fit the bill? Let me know your thoughts.

Photo by Matt Ravier. Licensed under Creative Commons

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Since the UK launch in 2000, thousands of Christians have found friendship, love and marriage through the site.

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