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Dating Dilemma: Are You Turning Away What’s Best for You?

Sometimes what is familiar is not what’s best for us.

Maybe we grew up in a situation that we knew wasn’t healthy, or we’ve spent long periods of time in relationships we knew weren’t good for us. Maybe we’ve spent too much time around people we know are toxic, or been exposed to marriages that are more hurtful than loving.

Sometimes what is familiar to us is the exact opposite of what God intended.

And it’s people like us who are most likely to go back to the familiar, to talk ourselves into accepting what we shouldn’t, to ignore the red flags we seeing waving all around us … simply because our comfort zone is a broken place.

A sweet friend of mine recently said, “If God is taking you out of your comfort zone and you’re kicking and screaming, STOP. He’s trying to give you the desires of your heart.”

  • Maybe your comfort zone is you on a hamster wheel trying to please someone who will never be pleased.
  • Maybe your comfort zone is accepting that you’re unlovable or undeserving of love, even when you know that’s not true.
  • Maybe your comfort zone is being alone for fear that no one will stick with you through the tough times.

But, it’s time we call it what it is. So we can move past it, and away from it, and actually in the complete opposite direction of it.

Whether you’re in a season of singleness or dating, if your comfort zone is a place you know is not where you want to end up, I pray you remind yourself of the following:

When you finally find God’s best for you,

The person you know beyond all doubt that He is placing before you is His very, very best …

It will feel like a lie.

Because when you’re used to broken, healthy is unfamiliar and scary.

When you’re used to broken, God’s best for you seems too good to be true and therefore inherently bad — even though that’s all in your head.

Take an inventory of your past and where your heart is today. Spend time in prayer with God, asking Him to break the walls you’ve placed around your heart, and the blinders you’ve worn for way too long. Spend time thinking deeply about why you are turning away good people in your dating life for ridiculous reasons. Then, reconsider.

God wants you in a healthy place. Don’t fight Him.

This article was originally published on Single Matters on 25 June 2016.

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