So a few months ago I came across an article about ‘China’s leftover women’. These are women over the age of 27 that are not married. The article resonated with me because it is so similar to what myself and thousands of other women in different parts of the world have experienced; that feeling that you haven’t quite made it unless you’re married, no matter how successful you are. What I found saddest about the article was the fact that the parents did not help the issue but instead added to the pressure. Parents that make their daughters feel like failures just because they are not married appear to have no idea the negative effect that it has on their self-esteem.
The journey of online dating is unique to each individual and couple: everyone has different experiences in terms of timing, something that’s true not only in this scenario, but in life in general. Many singles start out with high hopes of quick results, but can become despondent after a while and even give up after a series of unsuccessful dates, or time spent searching. But the key is perseverance, so whatever stage you’re at right now, don’t lose heart. Here are some of the reasons why it’s important to keep going.
‘I find Mothering Sunday really tough,’ confided my friend. ‘I’m happy for those who’ve been blessed with children, but I’ve spent my whole life yearning to be a mum, and a service celebrating motherhood is just a painful reminder of my grief.’
I used to try my hardest not to hurt anyone in dating. I’d be very careful not to be too friendly to guys I wasn’t interested in. I’d be wary of being too friendly to guys I was interested in, because what if I got to know them better and then found out I didn’t actually like them that much? Wasn’t that leading them on? Needless to say, this is not a productive dating strategy. But more than that, it’s probably not meant to be how we’re supposed to relate to other human beings at all.
‘What has come into being in Him was life, and the life was the light of all people.’ (John 1.1-5)
This lent I will be reading #LiveLent, the Church of England’s Lent publication. Ash Wednesday this year is funnily enough, on Valentine’s day. Now that may sound contradictory. Ash Wednesday is traditionally a day of soberness and reflection – a day where we remember that we are ‘dust and ashes’, a day where we are reminded of Jesus’ death on a cross. On the other hand, Valentine’s day is meant to be a time to celebrate the love we for our significant other, although it has become a commercial holiday – one that we are reminded of weeks in advance.
Whether you love Christmas and New Year and are super excited at the prospect of Yuletide cheer, or whether you dread advent looming on the calendar, you’ll be glad to know there’s plenty of ways in which this period is actually a good time to be single. It’s known as the season to be jolly but read on to find out how this is also the season of hope and opportunity.
Christian Connection is an award-winning Christian dating website in the UK, Australia, Hong Kong, Singapore, USA and Canada.
Since the UK launch in 2000, thousands of Christians have found friendship, love and marriage through the site.