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Author Archives: Andre Adefope

Why do the Christians I date let me down?

One of the things I hear more than I would like to are stories from Christians who say how upsetting their experience of dating a Christian was. While it’s true that no-one is perfect, some dating decisions in church cause a lot of hurt and are unloving. We need to talk about it, and we need to: Say It Isn’t Okay, Tell God We’re Angry, and Talk About Wider Fulfilments.

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3 things we guys (and girls?) need to remember when dating

Dating can be amazing, but it can also be confusing too. While some men are happy to ask for help and talk about the difficulties, some aren’t. But I do think there are 3 principles we can follow, (no matter what our gender is,) to help us date better. Namely: 1. We Don’t Need To Be Perfect, 2. Control Doesn’t Work, and 3. Everyone Needs To Learn This Stuff.

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Dating transformation

When it comes to our faith and getting dating advice, just like with most other advice, we often add it to our existing framework. We take in what people say and try to make it fit with our existing assumptions or reject it. We may not even realise we do this. But true transformation begins with letting go of these ‘items in the box’.  

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Should I date a non-Christian?

Often Christians are in a church with an uneven number of single Christian guys and girls. They want to be in a relationship, or already like a non-Christian, and wonder if it’s wise to date them. But the answer isn’t yes, no, maybe or sometimes, the answer is, it’s the wrong question. The real question should be ‘What kind of relationships do I want to build?’ Then we can decide if this person would help, whether they’re Christian or not.

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