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7 ways to beat dating fatigue

“I’m just about ready to throw in the towel, HopefulGirl” said the email. “I’ve been on the Christian dating scene for ages and I still haven’t met anyone. I’m exhausted, demoralised and losing hope.”

When I first joined a Christian dating website, I was convinced that within the year, God would guide me to my future husband. I was still on the scene several years later! When you’re putting in the effort and don’t feel like you’re making progress, it’s easy to become discouraged and give up. So here are my top seven tips for staying motivated and avoiding ‘dating fatigue’…

1. Prepare for the long game

Some people, like one pal of mine, hit the jackpot straight away – but that’s unusual. For most of us, finding the right partner takes time. You don’t expect to click with (or be attracted to) everyone you encounter in ‘real life’, and the same is true for online dating. Accept that it may be a lengthy process, and prepare for a marathon, not a sprint.

2. Know how to pace yourself

It’s important to approach online dating pro-actively, and meet up with as many new contacts as possible, but don’t let it take over your life. I ended up feeling like I’d been sucked into The Matrix – I spent every evening composing and replying to emails, and dates became a chore. So set yourself a limit for time spent online, and the number of new people you meet a month. Keep it regular but manageable, and don’t let it eat into your social life and time with God.

3. Find ways to enjoy the journey

Dating should be fun! During my time on the singles scene, I danced the night away at parties; chatted to interesting people; discovered new places; enjoyed some lovely days out; and met some very colourful characters. All of it enriched my life (and gave me enough entertaining stories to write a book!). Don’t view an ‘unsuccessful’ date as a waste of time – embrace the whole experience, enjoy it for what it is, and you’re more likely to stick with it.

4. Accept that rejection will happen

Our confidence can easily be dented if we feel judged, rejected or ignored, even by someone we’ve only met in cyberspace. But rejection is an inevitable part of the dating game, and it happens to ALL of us. Ask God, and the people around you, to remind you that someone’s lack of interest doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. And remember: if someone rejects you in an unpleasant way, it says far more about them than it does about you.

5. Don’t get stuck in a rut

Getting bored or feel like you’re seeing the same old faces? Then try something different. If you’ve been looking to meet someone online, why not give speed dating or singles parties a go. Or try out an inter-church social group or day trips for singles. You can find many of these on Christian Connection and its sister site Events for Christians. I also list events around the country on my Facebook page.

6. Be ready to take time out

If you’re getting exhausted and are in danger of burning out, take a break. Suspend your dating profile, give the singles events a miss for a while, and concentrate on other things that will lift your spirits – prayer, time with friends, perhaps a little pampering. You’ll come back refreshed and ready to enjoy it.

7. Don’t dismiss the value of making friends

Someone who isn’t your Mr/Ms Right could still become a good friend – and who knows, your new chum may even know the perfect person for you! I formed two great friendships with former dates, and those alone are worth the investment. But did I meet my Mr Right? Well, I don’t want to spoil the end of my book for readers. However, there’s one character with whom you may fall in love by the end of the story… but he’s no longer available!

What are your tip tips for beating dating fatigue? Share your advice for staying motivated.

About this Blog

Christian Connection is an award-winning Christian dating website in the UK, Australia, Hong Kong, Singapore, USA and Canada.

Since the UK launch in 2000, thousands of Christians have found friendship, love and marriage through the site.

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