5 things worth looking for in a prospective spouse
And it’s not looks!
Of course attraction is important and especially with online dating it can be easy to filter by photos and first date first impressions as an initial guide, but when it comes to long-lasting love, beauty is certainly more than skin deep. Here are 5 things to look out for when searching, chatting and dating, in the quest to find someone with whom you can spend the rest of your life:
This doesn’t necessarily mean having the same interests, liking the same food or having the same taste in music, although that’s good too. Does it feel easy to be around this person? Do you feel fully yourself when chatting to them? Do you laugh and effortlessly enjoy spending time in their company? If so, this may well be someone with whom you could spend the rest of your days.
The Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked, and someone’s character is a significantly large part of that – if you’re going one way and they another, you could end up in a relational tug of war. Gaining emotional and spiritual maturity is an ongoing journey. While we’re all a work in progress, it’s worth making sure that the person you’re considering is on the same path and values good character – both for themselves and for you.
It’s often said that a great way to get an insight into a date, is to watch how they treat the waiter or waitress, bartender, or even just the people they pass in the street. Do they tip after a meal? Do they step aside and let others pass rather than pushing ahead? Gauging someone’s reactions to others (especially those from whom they have nothing to gain, who they’re not trying to impress) and the world around them, can be better than focussing purely on how they treat you in a dating scenario.
Here, actions speak louder than words. If your date promises to call the next day then doesn’t, or stands you up without a very good reason, then the chances are their promises are like pie crusts (easily made, easily broken). Of course life does get in the way sometimes, but if someone makes a habit of not doing the things they say they will, then that doesn’t bode well for a future together. If you’re someone who finds it difficult to keep to arrangements and often lets others down, then this is a great time to examine your heart, and make some changes – and not just for the sake of a prospective spouse.
It may sound obvious, but is the person in question interested in you? A good sign of this is the kind of questions they ask – ones that are relevant to you, not just generic stock questions – and the details they remember from previous conversations. You don’t have to have the same hobbies and likes, but showing a genuine interest in who you are and the things you enjoy and care about, is certainly key.
It isn’t a one-way street – while you do need to weigh up if someone is right for you, bear in mind that they may well be doing the same with you. Dating and relationships provide great opportunity for self-development and personal refinement. So, grab this opportunity to grow in character, kindness and integrity and seek someone who is compatible (and interested) to travel the path with you.