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5 things every single person should know

If you’re single, you probably get advice from different people, including well-meaning family and friends on the single life and what to expect when you get married. But here are five simple but important things I believe every single person should know and bear in mind during this stage of life.

1. Your worth is not determined by your marital status.
It is important for single people to hear this, because unfortunately society has sold us the lie that unless you’re married, you haven’t quite made it. ‘Unless you’re a ‘Mrs’, you’re not quite as important as your peers.’ This way of thinking is false and must be rejected. God sees you as important, and your worth as a human being is not linked in any way to your marital status. You are important just because you are. What you say and think matter. Your gifts and talents are unique and important and the world has need for what you have to offer.

2. Marriage will not satisfy you.
Single people sometimes see marriage as some sort of ‘Promised land’ to get to, like a final destination. Truth is (and you can ask your married friends too) when you get there, you realise that it’s not so much a ‘final destination’ as it is a ‘next phase’. You realise that there’s always more to be desired. Whether it’s kids, or a bigger house, car, or a new job. The heart always longs for more and is never satisfied. This is why we must practise contentment at every phase of life, because that’s just what it is, a phase.

3. Don’t put your life on hold.
I once read that the secret to contentment is recognising that you have everything God wants you to have in your life right now. For me, that means that if I believe that God is good and that He loves to give good gifts to His children, then if I’ve asked him for a spouse and I don’t have one yet, it means that is not what He wants for me right now. And I have to be content with that, and trust that He knows what’s best for me. So I don’t put my life on hold, waiting to do this or that when I get married. If you want to buy a house, buy one. If you want to travel, do so. If you want to go bungee jumping (why???) by all means don’t wait to go when you get married; go now! Like one of my favourite authors says, ‘live your life as though you would never get married.’ Good advice I say.

4. Life is an individual race; keep to your lane.
It can be very difficult when you’re the only one of all your friends or high school / college mates that is still single. It sucks when you want to meet up and no one’s free because they’ve got kids to look after or other appointments with their spouses. It is easy to feel like you’ve been left behind, but it’s important not to dwell on such thoughts. It is their time to be married and have kids, not yours. And that’s OK. It’s your time to get busy with other stuff God wants you to be doing. Figure out what that is if you haven’t already, pour your heart into it and watch what God does next.

5. You’re more attractive when you smile.
Try to have a more positive outlook. Yes, being single can be difficult, but learn to smile, even when it hurts. Marriage is great, but being single has its perks too. Be thankful. Count your blessings. Hang out with friends (both single and married). Laugh. Eat. Dance. Enjoy life, it’s pretty short and chances are you’ll be married for longer that you were single, so make the most of this time.

There are a lot more that could be added to this list. So, go on, what else do you think is important for single people to know?

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