Living in limbo? 4 reasons to start your life NOW!
Most of us hope that our future will include love and marriage. After all, that’s why we’re on a dating website: to meet a life partner! But the church’s focus on married couples and families means that many of us grow up believing we won’t be fully-fledged adults until we manage to secure a spouse. It’s easy to pick up the idea that life doesn’t really begin until we get hitched.
So… do you ever feel like you’re waiting until you meet your future husband or wife before you start your big life plans, ambitions or ministry? Many of us do. And it’s not just women who hold back while they wait for the man with whom they’ll create a life and ministry, and perhaps be in leadership. Christian Connection’s survey of over 3,000 unmarried church-goers – the largest ever survey of single Christians in the UK – found that men are actually more likely to put their lives on hold while they’re waiting for a partner.
Quite logical, you may say. After all, what’s the point in putting down roots if you might end up moving for a partner and setting up home elsewhere? Or investing your energy in a career if you want to be a young mother? Or exploring your calling before you have someone to partner with you (or maybe your other half will have a ministry you’ll jump on board with)… Right? Wrong!
If you’re waiting until you meet someone to start your big life plans, here are four great reasons to start really living your life today…
1. No one knows the future
Some people meet their life partner when they’re in their teens or twenties. Many find love later in life – in middle age or even during retirement. Some of us will never get married. So how long will you put your life on hold for – ten years? Twenty? Forever…? None of us knows what the future holds, whether we’ll marry, or even how long we’ll have on this earth – so if you have things you want to do with your life, why delay? Start living now! And if you then meet someone? Well, nothing’s set in stone – you can always make changes to accommodate a new direction.
2. You may meet someone on your journey
One of the best ways to meet a well-matched partner is while we’re doing something we’re passionate about. While it shouldn’t be your motivation for taking on challenges or following your calling, you’re more likely to meet someone who’s right for you while you’re busy living your life, rather than waiting for them to arrive. If you’ve always wanted to go to Bible college, volunteer with a charity, launch a ministry or start your own business, then don’t delay – and as a bonus, you may meet that someone special.
3. You have something unique to offer
God has created each of us with particular skills and a special part to play in the world. Whether that’s a prominent leadership position or a quieter, behind-the-scenes role, there are things that only you can achieve. So don’t let your unique contribution to the world go to waste, or as Jesus said: “Don’t hide your light under a bushel.” Finding your purpose leads to fulfilment and joy. Whatever that is for you – creating a welcoming home, fulfilling a creative ambition, building a successful career or following a vocation – the time is now.
4. Purposeful people are attractive people
During my time on the Christian dating scene, the most attractive people I met were those who knew who they were and were following their dreams, achieving goals and building a life. It made them interesting, inspiring and full of life. Those who were just coasting and waiting for life to happen to them were less likely to capture anyone’s attention. Again, becoming more attractive shouldn’t be the motivation for following your purpose, but it’s a natural side-effect. So start living and growing into your best self.
If you don’t have a vision for your future or are struggling to find your purpose in life, now is the ideal time to think about your strengths and skills, what inspires you, and how God may use you. Praying and chatting with your minister, a spiritual adviser or a life coach can help you work out your path. Life is short and precious, so don’t waste it. Seize the day!
Get more inspiration about single living on the Single Friendly Church website