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6 keys for a healthy relationship

As a single woman in her 30s over a thousand miles away from her closest natural-born relatives, I sometimes long for connection and intimacy that I don’t always feel in my studio apartment across the river from Manhattan. There may be millions of people here, but sometimes I still feel alone. Once in awhile, I think a boyfriend or husband could fix my problem. Then I remember that having a husband can never really fix my longing for intimacy and connection. My loneliness runs much deeper than what another relationship could fix.

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What does it mean to be authentic?

‘Oh, but you just have to know yourself and love yourself, and all the rest flows from there’, a friend told me when I explained the Dating course I was developing to her. Just work on your own wellbeing and you will find love. Society tells us to ‘be authentic’, it screams, ‘just be yourself, and all will be well’. But it isn’t, is it? And being authentic is dangerous ground to be on, because it so often borders on plain selfishness at best.

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Listen to other people – or follow your heart?

‘My boyfriend and I have just got engaged – I’m madly in love with him and I believe God has told me he’s the one,’ said the Facebook message. How lovely! I got ready to offer my congratulations. She continued… ‘However, my friends and family think I’m making a big mistake. Should I listen to them or follow my own heart?’

Ah. Complicated. But many of us can relate to this dilemma.

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Dive into your dating life with God

Dating is like jumping in a scary, deep blue ocean… or is it?

Dating can be a tricky world to navigate. A place full of potential land mines that can blow up in your face, a place full of anxiety and fear: the fear of not being enough, the fear of failure, or the fear of being left alone. This may sound grim, but that is how many people tell me they experience dating.

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How we met, and a few lessons on finding ‘the one’

We met on Christian Connection a couple of years ago. I was completely against the idea of online dating, and actually had a couple of friends on different websites, constantly trying to get me signed up, and I always refused. One day, after a conversation with one friend, I decided to give it a go. I thought to myself, ‘at least, after this, you can say you’ve tried everything’.

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Dating transformation

When it comes to our faith and getting dating advice, just like with most other advice, we often add it to our existing framework. We take in what people say and try to make it fit with our existing assumptions or reject it. We may not even realise we do this. But true transformation begins with letting go of these ‘items in the box’.  

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About this Blog

Christian Connection is an award-winning Christian dating website in the UK, Australia, Hong Kong, Singapore, USA and Canada.

Since the UK launch in 2000, thousands of Christians have found friendship, love and marriage through the site.

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